Culture: Joking Cousins

Malian oral tradition tells of a wise king who ruled centuries ago during a time of widespread tribal conflict. Before his kingdom tore itself to pieces, the ruler had to think of way to stop the bloodshed while still allowing some outlet for ethnic tensions (a crucial element to peace-building that is often overlooked today). The king’s solution was an unusual one, but it seems to have worked. He declared that rival tribes become “joking cousins,” and that they had full permission to tease each other in a non-personal and non-threatening way.

Today, the concept of “joking cousins” is still very much alive. In fact, this blog post is long overdue, as it is a Malian cultural oddity that we experience on a daily basis. However, we have prolonged posting about it because the idea of a “joking cousin” is extremely foreign to Americans, and thus, can be difficult to fully explain. The basic concept is this: every family name has a set of other family names (former rival tribes) which they are explicitly supposed to make fun of for no other reason than it’s funny.

So, for cultural integration purposes, it is critical that each Peace Corps volunteer adopts a Malian family name and participates in the “joking cousins” game. Despite being married, Joye and I have different family names - both adopted our homestay families during training – which is okay here since women do not typically change their last name after marriage. Therefore, my last name, and not Joye’s last name, is Traore (Tra-or-ay), which has two major joking cousins: the Diarra (Jar-ra) and the Kone (Kon-ay). Therefore, whenever I meet either of these two, even for – or especially for – the first time, we will immediately start making fun of each other. It does not matter if the individual is a very respected elder, a merchant, or a young baby, there is full disclosure to tease, though certain insults are more common and appropriate than others.

When we first arrived, we were surprised by how childish some of the insults were, but after a while, we too began to think they were funny. For example, bean jokes are the most popular, and yes, they are funny for the same reason they are funny in the States. Simply telling people that they eat beans or farm beans is considered a low blow, though sometimes the jokes can get creative, like “even people in America know that Diarras like beans.”  However, never tell someone that their mom eats beans; I learned the hard way that that crosses the line. :)

Some other common insults simply cut down a person’s character, such as you’re bad, you’re mean, you’re stupid, you’re head is broken, and you’re the worst. And then you a few other classics, like you eat dog, you are a dog, you drink toilet water, and you speak donkey language. Lastly, it is not unusual to hear this little number - you’re my slave - though we haven’t quite found the nerve to try this one yet.

Other insults are saved for particular family names, and unlike the generic jokes listed above, these are more the type that we Americans might consider racial slurs. Joye’s adopted family name is a priceless example of this: Samake (Sa-ma-kay), which literally means “elephant man.” Therefore, Joye is constantly teased for being a big fat elephant woman. Thankfully, she doesn’t take it personally. Other examples include the Keita (Kay-tah) family, which are teased for being peanut farmers - think Jimmy Carter - and the Fulani peoples, who are known as the cow herders and milk sellers. However, most unfortunate is the Coulibaly (Koo-li-bah-lee) family, who can be teased by anyone. In fact, just calling someone “a Coulibaly” is an insult or a comic way of meeting someone for the first time.

Understanding and participating in “joking cousins” has done wonders for our cultural integration. It has helped us make instant friends with Traores and Samakes and sparked lively conversation with all of our rivals. Furthermore, it comes in handy when bargaining (“That’s too expensive you Coulibaly bean-eater!”), and is a great way to diffuse a tense situation into genuine laughter. There is nothing quite like in the States, but Mali couldn’t live without their “joking cousins.”

-James (& Joye)